The Importance Of The Last 5 Minutes Of Your Day

"When you enter into a sleepy, drowsy state, the conscious mind is submerged to a great extent. The highest degree of outcropping of the subconscious mind occurs just prior to sleep and just after we awaken. In this state the negative thoughts, which tend to neutralize your desires and so prevent acceptance by your subconscious mind, are no longer present."
---Dr. Joseph Murphy, The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

What do you do with the last 5 minutes of your day? That last 5 minutes between awake and asleep? Do you lay in bed and worry? Do you fall asleep to the sound of the television? Do you simply let your mind drift off into dreamland?

What you do with the last 5 minutes of your day is pivotal. Why? Because in this portion of the day, your deeper mind(subconscious mind) is very susceptible to suggestion and imprinting. In Rhonda Byrne's book, Hero, she states, "The most powerful time to reprogram the subconscious mind is when you're falling asleep at night. When you're in that very sleepy state of being half asleep and half awake, plant the thought that you can do anything and you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Your aim is to make that "believing in yourself" thought your last thought before you fall asleep, because the very last thought you think as you're falling asleep goes straight past the firewall and into your subconscious mind. And when that thought goes past the firewall, the subconscious mind must accept it as true".

This is extremely powerful because whatever beliefs you hold in your subconscious mind eventually manifest in your life. Your subconscious is connected to Divine Intelligence, and once Divine Intelligence has instructions, it will work with you to bring into reality what you believe. "For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."(Proverbs 23:7).

This valuable 5 minutes before sleep is a perfect time to affirm "I AM" statements, or self-affirmations. Do you have a list of "I AM" statements that you repeat to yourself? These statements can be very powerful because whatever you put after the words 'I AM" will ultimately shape your reality. A few examples are:

I am happy.
I am creative.
I am confident.
I am loving.
I am worthy.
I am healthy.
I am capable.
I am kind.
I am good with money.
I am friendly.
I am an excellent mother(father, brother, teacher, wife, manager, student, employee, etc).
I am blessed.
I am protected.
I am successful.
I am grateful.
I am helpful.
I am content.

Make your "I Am" statements personal. What do you want to become? As you say these statements(particularly during the last 5 minutes of your day), you are figuratively tatoo-ing them into your mind and experience. They have transformative power! Use these precious pre-sleep moments to visualize and emotionalize your best life, and day by day, it will become yours!

Happiness Tool #4: Creativity

We are each born with the desire to create and self express. It feels wonderful to create something that didn't exist before, doesn't it? A painting, a poem,  an engine, a business plan, a garden, a building, a relationship, a speech,  a pie, etc...

As children, most of us drew in coloring books, sculpted with modeling clay, made up plays, painted pictures, or worked on other types of art projects either at home or at school. Unfortunately, as adults, we can tend to get so wrapped up in the duties of everyday life, that we let our creative pursuits take a back seat. Recently though, artistic expression has been gaining popularity among the "grown up" crowd. Coloring books for adults have been selling out of craft stores and book stores with claims that making art can help us to become more mindful and resilient. I haven't purchased one(yet), but can tell you from experience that participating in any sort creative activity can bring great intrinsic satisfaction. In his beautiful talk entitled "Happiness, Our Heritage", President Dieter F. Uchdtorf said, "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty."

So, where do we start? Here are a few suggestions:

     *Sign up for a class in something you've never done before. Creativity flourishes when you push yourself outside of your comfort zone. If you feel you don't have the time or money for a formal class, search pinterest or youtube for fun tutorials.

     *Keep a notebook and use it. When creative ideas come to your mind, write them down immediately, then follow up as soon as you can.

     *Stop watching television!

     *Make a collage. This doesn't have to have a purpose other than fun and the beauty of making something.

     *Make a list(or fill a box) with things you love. Think of all the things that delight you in this world.

      *Revisit hobbies from your past.

     *Try a new recipe

     *Set your table in a different way.

     *Get up early and watch the sunrise.

     *Listen to music you've never listened to before.

     *Take photos.

     *Beautify a space.

     *See how many smiles you can create on the faces of others.

     *Go see (or participate in) a live play, live music, or live anything! 

     *Join a choir.

     *Plan and carry out a "themed" dinner. (My kids LOVE this one!)

     *Visit a new place.

     *Host a craft night.

     *Visit your local library. Libraries are full of things with the ability of sparking creativity!

     

Early LDS Church President Brigham Young once said, "There is a great work for the Saints to do. Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time, continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ."(Brigham Young, Deseret News, Aug. 8, 1860, 177).

Begin today to appreciate and cultivate the truly amazing creative ability that lies within you!

Happiness Tool #3: Challenges

I once read the story of a woman, who, at age 40 was always saying how wonderful and trouble-free her life had been. Problems and trials had seemed to pass her by. She came from a wealthy family and was born with natural beauty. When her friends talked about financial struggles, or the pain of being insecure teenage ugly-ducklings, she couldn't have real compassion for them since she herself had always been beautiful and self-assured.  She had never dealt with the problems of low self-esteem so many teenagers do.

Then suddenly her life changed and problems seemed to pile upon her from every direction---sickness, problems with her marriage and children, financial trials, etc. Since she had never been "gifted" with other problems to solve one at a time throughout her life to strengthen and ground her, she found herself struggling hopelessly in her plight.

Pondering a situation like this has made me realize what a blessing our education in learning to deal with trials and hardships truly can be!  William Penn said, "No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall no glory; no cross, no crown."

"When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what the storm is all about".---Haruki Murakami

I believe that God is much more interested in our personal growth than in our non-stop pleasure. It is our personal growth that enables us to experience true joy. To prosper without struggle is to never comprehend the value of the eventual blessing and deliverance from the trial.  Struggle also keeps us going to our knees, which brings us closer to God. That is ALWAYS a blessing!

Challenges are great awakeners. It may be easy to believe that a challenge-free life is a happy life. However, life with its challenges stimulates our growth and development. Looking closely back over your life, you can always see that your growth was accelerated when you faced some form of suffering or pain that brought you to your knees.

In his classic book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said, "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps,you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different from the one you thought of---throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage, but He is building a palace He intends to come and live in Himself."

We are being being built into palaces! What a beautiful image to keep in mind when the the trials of life come upon us. "Flowers shed most of their perfume when they are crushed. Men and women have to suffer just so much in order to bring out the best that is in them." (Orson F. Whitney, IE, November 1918, pp. 5-7.)

My favorite poem exemplifying this principle is  written by my wonderful mother. It is appropriately titled, "A Measure of Love"...

A MEASURE OF LOVE

By Martha Huggins Bullock

Why does God send us the sunshine

And then hide it with clouds of gray?

Why does He send us the darkness

At the close of a beautiful day?

Why does He bless us with laughter

And then send us a share of sorrow?

Why does He give us confidence

To be dashed on the next tomorrow?

Why does He make our hearts happy

And then let them be broken in two?

Why does He give us someone to love

Then conceal His gift from our view?

When we're happy, it's easy to praise God

For all of the joys we have known.

But how quickly our faith seems to falter

When we think that He's left us alone.

Yet ever and always He's with us,

Watching over with His tender care.

Our hardships are merely stepping stones--

Each one is a Heavenly stair.

God gives us many a challenge.

Each one is a measure of love,

To give us the strength and experience

To become like our Father above.

So, when the trials of life befall us,

And we're sure that we'll never get through,

Just remember each problem that God sends your way,

Is a measure of His love for you.

(Written to be read at the funeral of her infant daughter, my sister, Caprice Angelique Bullock, who died on February 13, 1982.)

We will all be faced with trials and challenges in life. Will they make you bitter? Or BETTER? The choice is yours.

Happiness Tool #2: Connection

"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships."

---Anthony Robbins

Our connections with other people are at the heart of happiness, both theirs and ours. Volumes of books could be filled with research findings regarding the power of healthy relationships in relation to happiness. Everything we value in life is affected by the level of human connection that we have, both positive and negative.

In Dr. Henry Cloud's wonderful book, The Law of Happiness, he tells us, "Your brain, your heart, your soul, and your body respond to relationships with others. Relationships are where we get our fuel, our motivation, our sustaining power, and more. Your brain chemistry, for example, changes with support, as does your immune system."

When we have strong support systems and healthy relationships in our lives, we tend to be:

     *Physically healthier, with stronger immune systems, and less illness.

     *Medically more likely to deal with illnesses and treatment well.

     *Emotionally healthier, with less stress, depression, and anxiety.

     *More likely to reach attempts to change our lives.

     *More able to reach goals.

     *And more!...

"Reach out and touch someone" is more than just a great Hallmark marketing slogan; it is excellent advice for achieving more happiness in your life. What could you do today to strengthen your relationship connections? Send a text message or email of appreciation. Better yet, send a "snail mail" card! (Who doesn't love receiving a personal card in their mailbox?). Invite a friend out to lunch. Plan a date night with your significant other. Plan a craft night or game night with friends. Say "I'm sorry. Say "I love you". The possibilities are endless...

Simply put, we need each other. Let's connect!!

Happiness Tool #1: Giving/Sharing

One of my daily philosophies of life is "CHOOSE HAPPINESS". But how? My next few posts will consist of  simple tools you can use to create more happiness in your daily life.

 Happiness Tool #1: Giving/Sharing

"He who has not learned the blessed art of sharing has not learned the true path to happiness, for happiness comes only by sharing. And let it be forever remembered that all riches may be embellished and multiplied by the simple process of sharing them where they may serve others. And let it be also remembered that the space one occupies in the hearts of his fellowmen is determined precisely by the service he renders through some form of sharing his blessings."

---Napoleon Hill, The Master-Key To Riches

Imagine a world where you couldn't share or give of yourself. You could  have a beautiful voice and talent for singing, but couldn't ever sing for anyone. You could have the ability to bake a sinfully delicious chocolate cake, but couldn't ever give a taste to anyone. You could have millions of dollars in the bank, but couldn't spend a dime on anyone but yourself. You could have a vast amount of knowledge in your area of expertise, but couldn't share that knowledge with anyone. You could own a lovely, spacious home, but couldn't share it with friends and family. What an empty existence it would be indeed! 

The reality is, a person's life is not their possessions, but their investments of themselves.

How can you give of yourself today? Think about the ways which you may share of your time, talents, skills, emotional energy and financial resources. As you begin to give of yourself, you will notice that you will start to have more and more to share with the world. What we share expands. Happy Giving!

24 Hour Love Challenge

"Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."

---Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Valentines Day is coming up in a few weeks and I couldn't be more excited! I love "decking the halls" with red and pink hearts, making heart-shaped cookies and chocolate-dipped strawberries, sipping "love potions" with my husband and children, enjoying our annual Chinese take out Valentine dinner, and planning fun surprises for those I love.

However, I realize that there are many people who dread this time of year, and actually refer to Valentines Day as S.A.D.(Single Awareness Day).  I am here to tell you that this doesn't have to be the case!  

What if, rather than focusing purely on romantic relationships(or lack thereof), we each chose at least one 24-hour period to focus on infusing our minds, circumstances, environments, relationships, and even our dreams with pure, unconditional love?  What would happen?

Dr. Wayne Dyer gives us a beautiful answer. "What can you expect as you practice a few days of being total, unconditional love? If all of your meditations are devoted to love, and if you pour love into every single situation and every single person you meet, and beyond that to everyone on the planet and to the infinity of the universe, you will feel yourself becoming a different person. You will sleep more soundly. You will feel at peace virtually all the time. Your relationships will be more deeply spiritual. Most significantly, you will begin to see "coincidences" of your life with greater regularity. Your thought forms of unconditional love will begin to produce what you desire without your even being aware of how it is happening. Your dreams will be more intense, and the vision of your purpose will become clearer."1

The gift of agency is one of God's greatest gifts to His children, and the ability we each have to embrace any thoughts we desire is one of the most beautiful and powerful aspects of this gift. It is the nature of our thoughts to grow and expand. The more we practice thoughts of unconditional love, the more we will see both our inner and outer worlds transform. Begin the challenge today: 24 hours of thinking, acting, and radiating nothing but unconditional love. Ready, set, LOVE!

1. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Manifest Your Destiny, p.95

The Concept That Changed My Life: Thanking God In Advance

I have heard it said that thanking God after He answers a prayer is gratitude. Thanking Him in advance is faith!

About 15 years ago, I came across this concept and it changed my life: The power of picturing in my mind the best possible scenario or outcome in any situation, and then thanking God for it in advance. Since I believe that what we think about we ultimately bring about, this concept made perfect sense to me, and I started experimenting with it.

Whenever I had an upcoming job interview, visit with a friend, doctor appointment, speech to give, song to perform, party to host, soulmate to meet, home to find, situation to confront, etc, I would play out the best possible outcome in my mind---how happy I would feel that things went smoothly, how wonderful it would be to share the news with loved ones and friends, etc. When the situation was of a weighty matter, I would fast while continually focusing on how happy I would be if the best case scenario took place. I would also end every prayer and thought session with "I am asking for this or better". Sometimes as I was thinking about the best possible outcome, I would have feelings come to me giving me the impression that I didn't really want what I thought I did, or that what I thought would be a great outcome really wouldn't be, so I would change my focus.

I made a constant effort to focus on positive outcomes, and to do all that I could to dwell on the good things I already had. When doubtful or negative thoughts would start coming to my mind, I would push them away as quickly as possible and say to myself, "The best possible outcome is coming my way. I ask God for this or better"

The results of my experimenting were astounding. 99% of the time, the best possible outcome to situations in my life came to pass. For the 1% it didn't, it ended up being BETTER than what I thought would be the best possible outcome.

I know that we are all children of God, and as a result we have quite spectacular spiritual DNA. In Catherine Ponder's Book, The Prospering Power of Prayer, she eloquently states, "As spiritual beings, we have the power to help create our own circumstances, events, and environment. The secret is to sing, to rejoice, to praise and to give thanks even before there seems to be anything for which to give thanks."

It is important to always remember that most miracles take time, and don't happen instantaneously. Some best case outcomes are quick, and some are not. We live in a world where circumstances and events need to "line up" for our dreams to be realized. We also learn some of our greatest lessons during the gestation of dreams.

Always trust God. His timing is perfect. Your best case scenario is yours for the taking. Be grateful for it in advance!

The Party That Could Change Your Life

In 1986, Jack Canfield attended a party that deeply impacted the lives of all who attended.  It was a "COME AS YOU WILL BE IN 1991" party held on the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. The individuals invited to the party were to envision where they would be in 1991---5 years into the future. After they had created their ideal visions in their minds, they were to then use their imaginations to make their visions even bigger.

When they attended the party, they were to act as if it really were 5 years in the future and that their visions had already come true. They were to dress, talk, and act the part. They were to bring any props that demonstrated that their dreams had become reality---degrees earned,  wedding rings worn, books written, large paychecks received, etc. They were to spend the evening talking about their lives and accomplishments, celebrating their successes and the successes of others, talking about how fulfilled and happy they were, and discussing what they were going to do next. They were to stay in character the entire evening.

When they arrived, they were met by 20 men and women who had been hired to play the part of adoring fans and paparazzi. Fans screamed their names and asked for autographs, and cameras flashed.

Jack Canfield went as a best-selling author with several reviews of his number-one New York Times best seller to show people. Another woman brought a mock edition of Time magazine with her face on the cover for winning an international award for making advances in the peace movement. A man who wanted to retire and spend his life as a sculptor showed up in a leather sculptor's apron with a hammer and chisel and safety goggles and pictures of sculptures he had made. Another gentleman who wanted to become a successful stock trader spent the entire evening answering his cell phone, talking animatedly and then commanding "Buy five thousand shares" or "Sell ten thousand shares." He had actually hired someone to call him every 15 minutes during the party just to carry off his "act as if". 

A movie producer arrived dressed in a tuxedo, having dreamed of winning an award for his first coproduction with the Russians.  His wife, who had just begun working toward awriting career arrived carrying 3 mock-ups of "books" she had written. In the spirit of everyone celebrating and supporting everyone else's dreams, people told her all evening that they had seen her on Oprah and the Today Show. Others congratulated her for winning the Pulitzer prize and making the best-seller list, and it went on all evening. (This author was Susan Jeffries, who did go on to publish 17 successful books, including the best-seling classic, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway".)

And Jack Canfield, of course, went on to write, compile, and edit over 80 books, including 11 New York Times best sellers, and was also featured in the widely known book and movie, "The Secret".

This party, where everyone in attendance maintained their future personas for over 4 hours, flooded their subconscious minds with powerful images of already having achieved their goals, visions, and dreams. These vivid experiences, mixed with the positive emotions produced by the events of the evening, strengthened the positive neural pathways in their brains that forged and deepened new self-images of being wonderfully successful.

But most importantly, it worked! All who attended that party have gone on to realize the dreams they acted out that night and much, much more. 

Consider throwing a "COME AS YOU'LL BE IN 5 YEARS" party for your family, close circle of friends, neighborhood, or business associates. Think of the creative energy, support, and fun it will release!

Be clear that a party like this is not enough by itself to change your entire future.  You will have to do other things to make it happen. However, thinking like, talking like, dressing like, and feeling like you have already achieved your goals and have become the person you want to become will send powerful messaged to your subconscious mind to find creative ways to help you achieve your dreams and become your best self. It programs the reticular activating system (RAS) in your brain to start noticing anything  around you that will help you succeed, and it sends strong messages to the universe that this end goal is something you really want.

You go where your vision. What you dwell upon is what you become.  Begin today to dwell in possibility.  

Whether or not you ever host or attend a "COME AS YOU'LL BE IN 5 YEARS" party, commit to spend a little more of your time and energy "acting as if".  Give it a try and see what happens.

Happy People Don't Wait for "Someday"

'I will be happy when______________.  Fill in the blank: When I make the team. When I have more money. When I get in better shape. When I finish school. When I get married. When I have children. When I get a new house. When the children move out. When I'm out of debt. When I have grandchildren. When I retire. Or, when I die.

This thought process has the possibility of going on and on and on. So, what is the problem here?  Well, when we have the attitude that happiness is just around the corner, and that when we get "there" we will be happy, many times we get "there" only to realize that happiness is STILL just around the corner!  We must learn that happiness can be achieved at each stage in life and not at some distant point in the future.

Thomas S. Monson said, "This is our one and only chance at mortal life---here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you to not let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do  Instead, find joy in the journey---now."1

 As I pondered this topic, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk, "Forget Me Not", came to mind. The section entitled "Forget Not to be Happy Now" is of particular significance to me:

"In the beloved children’s story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka hides a golden ticket in five of his candy bars and announces that whoever finds one of the tickets wins a tour of his factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Written on each golden ticket is this message: “Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket … ! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! … Mystic and marvelous surprises … will … delight, … astonish, and perplex you.”³

In this classic children’s story, people all over the world desperately yearn to find a golden ticket. Some feel that their entire future happiness depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their hands. In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket.

So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.”⁴ The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear.

One woman wanted more than anything else to marry a righteous priesthood holder in the temple and be a mother and a wife. She had dreamed about this all her life, and oh, what a wonderful mother and loving wife she would be. Her home would be filled with loving-kindness. Never a bitter word would be spoken. The food would never burn. And her children, instead of hanging out with their friends, would prefer to spend their evenings and weekends with Mom and Dad.

This was her golden ticket. It was the one thing upon which she felt her whole existence depended. It was the one thing in all the world for which she most desperately yearned.

But it never happened. And, as the years went on, she became more and more withdrawn, bitter, and even angry. She could not understand why God would not grant her this righteous desire.

She worked as an elementary school teacher, and being around children all day long simply reminded her that her golden ticket had never appeared. As the years passed she became more disappointed and withdrawn. People didn’t like being around her and avoided her whenever they could. She even took her frustration out on the children at school. She found herself losing her temper, and she swung between fits of anger and desperate loneliness.

The tragedy of this story is that this dear woman, in all her disappointment about her golden ticket, failed to notice the blessings she did have. She did not have children in her home, but she was surrounded by them in her classroom. She was not blessed with a family, but the Lord had given her an opportunity few people have—the chance to influence for good the lives of hundreds of children and families as a teacher.

The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.

This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."2

I especially love the last paragraph quoted above.  

I  feel it is extremely important to realize that we will someday miss TODAY, so we must make the most of it now.  When we ask ourselves the question, "What will I miss about today ten years from now?",  we start to recognize that there are experiences in this moment that are AMAZING, and we begin to live with appreciation for those precious moments.  If I find myself forgetting the importance of every single day, I make a conscious effort to shift my thoughts to the small, wonderful gifts unique to each day.  I focus on developing "mindfulness" and "savoring".  I try to focus on fully-tasting life NOW!  After all, it is THESE moments that make up life!

So if you want to improve your happiness, look at your orientation to the moments before you each and every day.  Embrace them.  Savor and celebrate the good things.  Meditate on the experiences and memories that have meaning for you.  Taste, touch, smell, feel, look at, and embrace each gaze, meal, walk, and every other activity that you do.  If you do that, you will be living your life NOW and will not have to wait for "when" whatever comes that you think will make you happy.  Now is the time!

Sources:

1 Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy In The Journey", Ensign, November 2008

2 Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", Liahona, November 2011